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If I Can't Bring My Dog I'm Not Going
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If I Agree With You We'll Both Be Wrong
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If History Repeats Itself I Am So Getting A Dinosaur
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If Dogs Could Talk I'd Have No Reason For People
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I've Done Terrible Things For Money Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work
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I'm Wearing Black Today To Mourn The Death Of My Motivation
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I'm Trying To Give Up Sexual Innuendos, But It's Hard...So Hard
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I'm The Quiet Neighbor With The Big Freezer
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I'm Sorry I Don't Take Orders. I Barely Take Suggestions
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I'm So Broke I Can't Even Pay Attention
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I'm Smarter Than You're
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I'm Silently Correcting Your Grammar
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I'm Running For A Cause I Have to Poop
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I'm Old but I'm Like Cool Old
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I'm Not Weird I'm Limited Edition
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I'm Not The Type Of Person You Should Put On Speaker Phone
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I'm Not Sleeping I'm Just Resting My Eyes
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I'm Not Sick I'm Twisted Sick Makes It Sound Like There's A Cure
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I'm Not Rude. I Just Say What Every One Else Is Thinking
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I'm Not Insulting You I'm Describing You
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I'm Not Immature It's Just That You Started It
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I'm Not Getting Older I'm Just Becoming a Classic
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I'm Not Gay But $20 is $20
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I'm Not Bossy I Just Know What You Should Be Doing
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I'm not Anti-Social I'm Anti-Stupid
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I'm Not A Proctologist But I Do Know An Asshole When I see One
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I'm Not A Gynocologist But I'll Take A Look.
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I'm Nicer Than My Face Looks
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I'm Mom's Favorite
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I'm Mean Because You're Stupid
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I'm Looking Forward To Regretting This
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I'm Kind of Surprised I'm Not An Action Figure By Now
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I'm Just Going To Put An Out Of Order Sticker On My Forehead And Call It A Day
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I'm Into Fitness. Fitness Whole Pizza In My Mouth
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I'm Having One Of Those Days Where My Middle Finger
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I'm Having A No Hair Day
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