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If There Was A Pill To Cure Procrastination I Would Probably Take It Tomorrow
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Never Thought I'd Be The Kind Of Person Who'd Wake Up To Exercise And I Was Right
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My Future Husband Is Going To Have The Coolest Wife
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What Day Is It
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There Are Two Types Of People In This World Avoid Them Both
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Go Ahead Call The Cops
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I Love Day Drinking
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Shut Your Pi Hole
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Sweet As Pi
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Your Workout Is My Warmup
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Best Dad By Par.
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I Love A Good Pole Dance
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Don't Make Me Use My Mom Voice
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Mom's To Do List Everything
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Today Was Good I Put On Pants And Brushed My Teeth
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I Paused My Game to be Here.
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I Stopped Understanding Math When The Alphabet Decided To Get Involved
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Everything Will Kill You So Choose Something Fun
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God Knew I Would Be Too Powerful If I Could Do Math
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I Just Want To Drink Beer & Watch Football
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I May Not be Perfect But At Least I'm Not a Republican
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I Dont Have A Sleep Schedule Anymore I am Just Existing
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Sarcasm Is My Defense For Your Stupid
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Fishing With My Kids
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Don't Ask Me I Just Live And Work Here
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Kiss My I'm Highrish
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Privilege When You Think Something Isn't A Problem Because It Doesn't Affect You
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It's Crazy How Expensive Being Alive Is.
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I Think My Soulmate Might Be Carbs
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Excuse Loading 38% Please Wait...
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Because I Said So
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I Miss My Cat
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Hold My Drink I've Gotta Pet This Dog
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I Think I'm Worth Every Headache I Give
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